Learning....

In this first year of ministry, we are in a definite season of learning.  Events and dates on the calendar come and go, and with them come lessons. Lessons on what is expected and what to expect,  on what to do and what not to do, and on how things should and should not be done.  Holidays are most certainly some of those teaching events. Our church does two wonderful community outreaches during the year.  We rent out a park on the beach and host a Christmas Eve Candlelight service and an Easter Sunrise service. It's wonderful to see our small church band together and serve a large number of people from the community.  At Christmas, I was told I was really needed, and I wanted so badly to be involved that I packed the kids up into their double stroller and went on down to the park so that I could sing with the praise team. We figured that while I was singing, DH could sit with the kids in the front row until he needed to speak, and then we could switch. Bad. Idea.  My children usually go to bed by 7 in winter (8 in summer) and by the time service started we were dangerously close to their bedtime. They were tired, and they were in a park (which they love!) and they were not allowed to get down and play. To top it off they could not get to their mommy and there were all sorts of strangers looking at them and talking to them. So guess what happened? You got it; the meltdowns began. First the older one started crying for mommy and reaching toward me, and then the little one cried because she was scared by her sister's panic. Poor DH. Here he is trying to prove his mettle during his first Christmas Eve Outreach during his first year at this church and his children are freaking out in front of a few hundred people.  I looked at him, he looked at me, and I'm pretty sure our faces were mirroring the same expression; panic!  I didn't know what to do, and he didn't either. I was already up front singing and there was no easy way to extract myself, and he was in the front row waiting to get up and speak...finally a church member came to the rescue..sort of. She tried to wheel the kids around to distract them, but the wailing increased. Now they realized that they were without BOTH parents. In what should have been a reverent and beautiful time of music, everyone was trying to pretend that the Pastor's children weren't screaming in the background.  When I finally got done with the music team, and I retrieved my kids they were completely beyond themselves. I tried everything I could to get them calmed down. I took them all the way to the back of the park and proceeded to use everything in my mom-bag-tricks. I even whipped out the portable dvd player.  I would have loved to have put them into the van and left....but DH had parked it right near the front where he was speaking.  :(  Then a well-intentioned church member tried to help by offering my 2 1/2 yr old a lit candle. When I intervened, another meltdown ensued. By the end of that night I was exhausted and completely wrung out, my children were over-tired and weepy, and DH was completely mortified.  So what does that have to do with Easter? Alot! We learned our lesson quite thoroughly that night; no matter how much I would like to be involved in special events, and no matter how much church members might press me to come, I will not be bringing small children to a special service again. Ever. This Easter, DH and I decided that we would not be waking up Love-bunny and Kitty-cat early so that we could drag them to a park where they couldn't get down to play. We decided that even though there was going to be an Easter Egg hunt for the children, it was unrealistic for me to try to handle both toddlers in that kind of setting by myself. And we decided that the worship team could get along without me for that service, even though they said they really needed me.  We learned from the Christmas service that even though it may be expected of me and the children to attend everything and be involved, I do not have to comply. I can do what is best for my family first. And you know what?  It was okay! Not that much was said about us missing the Easter service.  We are learning all sorts of things in this season of our lives, and that is a really good thing. Looking back on that Christmas Eve service, I can honestly LOL.  What a crazy, comical scene that must have been.  I'm sure I must have looked like a caged animal, waiting to run as soon as the service was over. I'm sure it was hillarious watching me thrust toys and snacks and movies at my children in a desperate attempt to get them quiet.  And I KNOW it probably looked really funny that I was all dressed up and struggling to push a tandem stroller through the sand and grass (and fire ants!) at the beach park while little arms and legs flailed out of it, and wailing echoed in the night. Can you imagine it? Are you laughing? I am, too! Now anyways. :)  Yes, Learning...it's a very good thing.