Body Love

When I started this process of getting healthy, I was in a really bad head-space.  I would look in the mirror, and hate myself. Seriously,  not just hating what I looked like, but hating myself. I hated what I had done to myself, that my body was broken down and didn't function like it should, and that I just couldn't seem to pull myself out of the downward spiral I was in. I was getting pretty big, and I let my size dictate my self worth.  BAD IDEA! 

I got to a point where I had enough, and I started researching nutrition. I applied what I learned to what I ate and fed my family, and I started taking supplements to fix some deficiencies I had. I saw a change so fast, I was inspired to start my exercise regimen anew. I finally had the energy I needed to do it.

It was so hard at first. I could barely complete 8 minutes on my elliptical. But I added two minutes everyday, and one day I hit 40 minutes. Then I started adding resistance to the machine, and I did it again. I just keep making it a little harder and a little longer, and going a little faster.  Yesterday, I hit a new personal best. I went 9.01 miles in a little over 60 minutes.  Those are some fast  miles!

After I had accomplished this amazing task, I started thinking about how far I've come. In the beginning of the journey I hated my body, and I had hated it for years. Not just since I had the kids and put on the weight, but even as a pre-teen I hated my body.  18 years is a long time to carry that kind of hate around; especially for myself.  In thinking about it, I had to apologize to myself.  I can see now just how awesome my body is. No, I still don't look amazing. No, I haven't reached my goal weight. But this body is capable of some amazing stuff.  It overcame medical problems and I carried two beautiful, healthy babies. It kept going, even when I abused it by feeding it the wrong fuel (and sometimes too much of it), by not working all the parts of it to keep it strong, and it is overcoming obstacles and reaching incredible goals during this fitness journey.  My body may not look amazing, but it IS amazing, and I am proud of it.

It is so easy to get caught up in that bad mindset. I could blame the media for promoting an unhealthy body images, but let's get real; I watched and read that stuff, and I didn't have to accept it. Let's take some responsibility here. As a Christian, I know where I am supposed toget my idea of self-worth. The Bible lays out what is valuable in a woman very clearly (hello, proverbs 31!) so it isn't like I didn't have any other idea of what would make me special/important/valuable.  So, I'll  tell you, yes, I have lost 30 lbs to date and shrunk quite a few inches, but don't be surprised if you don't hear much about pounds from me in the future. From now on, I am measuring my success in how awesome my body is and what kind of crazy things it can do. You'll probably hear a lot about how healthy I'm becoming (I was the only one in this house that escaped the last virus going around :) ) , and what the next goal is whenever I reach one, but I won't be weighing my success in pounds anymore. I think that is some good Body Love.